But what about when things are really tough.
I'm not talking stubbed your toe, your laptops not working kind of days, I'm talking life and death tough.
I'm talking so tough you don't know which way to turn, or what to do.
How do you get motivated then?
How can you feel the positive then?
Well I speak from a bucket of load of experience here and I'm going to share how. Because today is a proof is in the pudding kind of day.
January 14th 2011 I was happily speaking to a room full of business women (one of my favourite jobs in the WORLD!) and loving it. I then saw a client and went about my day very happy oblivious to the fact that within 24 hours I would be in bed and would stay there for pretty much 2 years!
By April 2012 I had to stop working part time (Even working part time, I had the Home Secretary phone me to be involved in their new mentoring program!) as I ended up in hospital for a 2nd time with a scary heart thing and some worried doctors.
Imagine being the kind of person that adores being around people, hearing their problems and creating the solutions, who loves being energetic and full of life. If not busy with business then playing with children and loving life to the full and imagine swapping that over night for a bed so ill you can't even hold a book and have to live off of Morphine.
At its worst in the last 2 years I was told 5 times I did and then did not have ME/CFS and a ton of other nasty diagnoses were branded around, until with the thanks of my awesome GP we found the problem and I'm getting my life back.
But here's the thing. I didn't know even 8 weeks ago that I would be feeling better. So how did I stay happy and not go mad with the grief of losing my fabulous life?
I had a doctor tell me that there was nothing they could do until I was prepared to accept my life was over. Well at 38 with a great career, 2 children and a gorgeous partner would you accept your life was over?So how did I do it?
It comes down to faith and belief, and setting goals that were in line with me as an individual at that moment in time.
So firstly Faith.
We are not talking religion, I'm talking an absolute faith in finding a solution. I visualised every day speaking to a room full of business women again, I visualised every day getting back in to my car after seeing a client with a grin on my face because she's getting the results she wants. I would lay in bed and see it, and feel it. So when life is so tough you don't know how to go on, know this; Everything changes. Nothing stays the same. So bad can become good, awful can become awesome. Have faith in that fact.
Secondly Belief.
I always believed in me. When I couldn't even crawl up the stairs without my hubby helping, I still laughed, Why? Madness? No. An absolute belief in me. I held on to all the amazing things I'd done and achieved in my life. I leaned on the brilliance of all the people I know in the real world and my wonderful social media world. I ensured that only positive people, experiences and ideas were allowed to occupy my mind. So ensure you do this too. Think back to every moment in time when you've been amazing. Why do us women dismiss when people compliment us? Hold on to those compliments and really appreciate that they were said with truth and love for the awesome person you are.
and lastly goal setting.
This was tough, but I lay in bed one day and realised somewhere towards the end of the first year of this agonising illness that the goal of getting better was just too big. It was demotivating me, it was making me feel like a failure because so much was beyond my control. Yes by then I had accessed a plethora of specialists through my own hard work, I'd chased over a 100 appointments but it was not getting me well, just robbing me of precious energy that I could have used with my children. So I had to work out what really matters.
When things get really tough ask yourself what really matters? And for me it was simply this "Be Happy" I started every day listing 10 things I was happy and grateful for. If you have spent the day in a darkened room on Morphine unable to move, its not easy, but I found plenty. Thank you for my beautiful children sharing the day (quietly!) Thank you for my very comfy new bed, Thank you for my gorgeous hubby cooking tea, Thank you for the Tweet that made me smile, Thank you for the medicine that is taking away the pain, Thank you for water to make that lovely bath. Yes its a toughie, but being truly grateful for what you do have will spur you on - I promise!
So the true power is fully appreciated today.
Today I'm going to cycle for the 4th time in a week after 2 years of not even being on my bike. I'm going to cycle down to the road that links Mersea Island to the main land. And I'm going to watch the round the island race as the tide floods the road. I will be the one there grinning like a loon that today I'm with my children on this beautiful day surrounded by great people and still loving life and Being Happy. Now that's True Power to Be grateful for!
I promise you that whatever life is throwing at you right now. If you apply these ideas to your life, you will get through it stronger and easier.
If you need a hand, just shout!
I'm here for you.
xx
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